IDGAF (and you should neither)

Here I am, wearing my "I don't give a fuck" piece of clothing, a dressing gown with a teddy bear print on it that I like to wear in plain daylight. 

Life is easier when you don’t give a fuck about what others might think about you. Why? Because people are going to have an opinion about you, about the things you do, the things you say, the way you dress, some might think what you do and say and wear is cool, others might think it’s bullshit, and some might not care at all (my favourite kind of people – mind your business and water your own grass!). So anyways, people are going to have an opinion about you as a person because let’s be real here, it’s damn hard to mind your own business (though that would save you a whole truckload of energy, but more on that later). And not everyone will like you. NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO. Some will hate it, some will think it’s stupid, irresponsible, boring, whatever.

Now, you have two options to react to negative feedback on whatever you were just doing: 1) Listen to what they have to say about you and change your ways so that they approve. What will happen? Someone else will disapprove, you will feel the need to change your ways again and in that never ending process of pleasing someone and displeasing the next one in line you will eventually lose yourself. Or, 2) You continue with what you were doing because YOU AND ONLY YOU DECIDE WHAT’S GOOD FOR YOU AND IF YOU WANT TO DO SOMETHING YOU SHOULD DO IT AND FUCK OTHER PEOPLE’S OPINION ABOUT IT (that is, as long as what you’re doing is not hurting anyone – I’m not saying you should be racist and not give a fuck when someone calls you out for it. As long as what you’re doing is not hurting anyone however, you should always and unapologetically do it).

So, if you consistently choose option 2 and base your decisions on what is good for you, not on what is approved by others, you will get rewarded with happiness, with inner peace. When your actions are based on your values, your beliefs, your goals, not on others, you can consistently build. Build your character, build your empire. However, if you act based on other people’s values, beliefs and goals, you will act inconsistently, as people’s values vary! And you will not be happy with your choices, you will not be able to defend them, to stand behind them.

Thankfully, I’ve always been a rather independent person. I didn’t think much about what others might think or say when I got dressed, for example. But still, there is room for improvement, which is why IDGAF (not even a single one) has gotten my motto lately. Because remember, people don’t have to like you, and you don’t have to care. I can’t stress this enough. YOU have to LIKE YOURSELF, and this is only going to happen if you listen to your body, to your mind, to your needs, if you do what feels good to you. And I realise that sometimes it is hard to say no to others and yes to yourself, just because we’ve been so trained to fulfill other people’s expectations, to fit into society’s standards and to base our self-worth on the approval we get from others. But we need to learn to free ourselves from those learnt patterns of behaviour. They are making us unhappy. So it’s time to start doing all of the things you always wanted to do but didn’t because you were scared of the reactions you would get.

Listen, I was scared to start this blog. I was scared because I’m putting my raw, unfiltered thoughts out here, and because everyone can read it. I was scared of how people would react. Especially the ones that know me personally. But I decided that I just won’t give a fuck anymore.

And ever since, I’ve been more productive, as I wrote what I wanted to write, not what I thought people might want to read. I’ve been more relaxed, as I didn’t listen to what people had to say anymore and just continued to do my thing, convinced it is the right thing for ME to do (I’m not saying you have to do the same! I’m saying you should do what makes you feel good, and that is different to everyone). I’ve been happier and more at peace with myself (obviously, since I started to listen to my intuition and started to take my core values seriously!).

So, moral of the story: Do whatever feels right. Don’t be afraid of negative feedback, as you will receive some anyways, no matter what you do. So you might just as well do what makes you feel good. STOP GIVING A FUCK AND START TO THRIVE!!!

Edit: I read a quote on Instagram today (posted by @enlightenedprophets) which said “The biggest regret that people have on their deathbed is that they lived the life expected of them instead of a life true to themselves”.

Don’t have that regret.

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